Just raged at my mum. Anyway it is known that I'm not a good daughter in the first place so my transparency about my evilness is HIGH hahaha.

So the story begins. A very pathetic small story but ticks off some time bomb inside me.

1) Mum buys food like bread/kueh etc. Longer lasting food. 

2) Mum leaves home for parkway

3) Mum comes back home and sees the food untouched.

4) Mum assumes that I am on a hunger strike.

5) Mum cooks dinner.

6) Mum forces me to eat dinner at 5pm when I wanted to wait for my brother to come back.

7) I ask why? 

8) Mum says because I didn't eat.

9) Conversation begins. 

Mum: You think I so 辛苦 about 吃是为了什么？Is all for your health, health is very important

Me: Ya but beyond food, is there anything else you care about?

Mum: Education 那些东西 beyond us, 我们不会，你们自己。

Me: Just because 不会 means give up caring? I 不会 a lot of people's problems, I don't know how to solve every problem but I still bother to ask people. So just because 不会 then don't care already? 

Mum: Food is about well-being. If we don't care about you, you think we care about food all these.

Me: But well-being there's physical and there's emotional. People always suffer because of emotional well-being also. So what part about emotional well-being do you care about? 

Mum: (starts mumbling things)

Me: enters my room. 

Recently, (even today), I have people asking and telling me the same few sentences.

1. Why no honors
2. Have you found a job
3. Wow you are very courageous

And today I have an acquaintance (whom I previously treated as a friend but I realized it's just a one-sided shit so heck it I need to trust less sometimes) who knew so freaking clearly I don't give a shit about the banking industry but kept looking down on me. Twice. Forcing me to do something I don't like is really painful, who are you to do this to me honestly :(

People always talk about how we have "typical asian mindset" in our parents. No man. All this typical asian shit is in young elitists like you too man. I don't know what to feel anymore whenever people give me the kind of look that shouts "huh wts why sia" and then politely says "wow you are very courageous..." or some just directly say "erm. then what are you doing here." I am sick and tired of justifying myself and defending myself against all this judgmental comments and looks. I am just happy of doing what I love, why are you people treating it like as though I'm mulan going for war.

All this angst is all time high now LOL. Esp after I had so many encounters today. Which fuels my hatred for biz school a lot more. Can't help it that every single comment like these are always, always from those people. And my prof too, what is with the looking down on FASS and their salaries? We'll see how long all these paper money can paint a smile on your face la guys.

In summary:
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WTF IS WITH THIS FACULTY BUT
I DO KNOW I AM FCKING GLAD TO WAVE GOODBYE IN THREE FCKING WEEKS.

Under the sea

Hola.

I'm back from Tioman (whoohoo managed to reach home by 10.30+pm on Sunday) and it's currently a Wednesday morning 5.52am. Have been crashing everynight ever since I'm back lol there isn't a night whereby I off my room light or on the aircon myself. Thank you korkor. 

I am alive. I survived diving without dying. Hahahaha honestly I was scared to die on Friday. Never felt this way before in Rinjani/Bromo/Cambodia. Because I'm afraid I cannot equalize the right way and my eardrums + lungs might burst underwater LOL. And because I've heard stories like how people ascend too quickly and got paralyzed :( 

So... Friday evening I went to hobo around in Cinna and find HH and wanted to say things like "OMG HH DON'T MISS ME LATER I DIE HOW" but cannot. Too superstitious HAHAHA. So I just erm touch wood (HH's cupboard) and hope we will do fine LOL HH and her climbing + me and my diving. Ah but we both survived :)

And so... the journey to Tioman begins! It was nice because there were zero wifi throughout the trip. Just human beings. So I talked quality talk to my buddy all the way there. Love my buddy lots huimin is freaking real real hahaha I love people who are honest and real. Too many backdoor peeps I know in biz already. Thankful for my friends la always :') The whole Friday night was spent travelling to Tioman, buddy even lent me her inflatable pillow during the bus ride because my habit was to sway everywhere like a palm tree when I accidentally fall asleep. Reached the island at 2am? By the time we washed up and slept it was 3. Woke up the next day at 7am because LET'S GO DIVING. 

Breakfast was amazing. THERE WERE SCRAMBLED EGGS. Food there is really good ahaha makes me happy. My instructor is a really friendly joker guy called Jon and because he's so buddy-buddy with us that we never really take his words seriously haha. Like how he told us that he is zai and we all just joked around and WTS when we got back to SG we realized we suck HAHAHA Jon is some freaking upz bigshot in the world of free diving, he can keep his breath underwater for 6 minutes no wonder he could blow bubbles of rings etc underwater hahaha he can control his breath damn well. 

(I blogged till here last time. because I always have this blog-half-way-then-no-mood-lazy-tired-sian-then-just-save-the-post haiyo.)

To sum it all up, I enjoyed it thoroughly. $580 for the life time license and the experience (at first my heart pain)...but now, okay la, I'm glad I did it :)

Under the pool

Most epic Saturday yet.

Today I took a break off the usual Saturday tuition routine and did an epic Saturday adventure instead hahahaha therefore it deserves a blog post! There is still water in my ears but that's okay.

Total time of 6 hours under the pseudo sea today haha it was a fun (and bloody shag) time.

Memorable things to take note of

#1 Diving Instructor = CUTE HAHAHAHA. Not exactly about the looks but just overall one whole package of niceness and cuteness LOLOL WHAT'S WITH THIS, #1 IN MEMORABLE THINGS AH I AM DAMN WTS
#2 I like the calmness and silence deep under water. When everything appears bigger and sound become louder, it's really cool how communication is just in-your-face. No talking behind your back or whatever, just in your face signalling and eye contact, the slow and steady way. Love it like that, makes everything feels very simple and safe.
#3 Unfortunately... it doesn't feel that simple and safe when...
Your eyemask gets foggy
You subconsciously breathe through your nose and makes it ultra painful because you forget to remind yourself to keep on 24/7 breathe through the mouth sian
You get tired of treading water for 10 mins and you end up kicking around like mad looking like you are drowning just to keep the stupid square face up above the water omg my legs were dying haha
You imagine yourself doing this in the 10metre deep sea... the fact that if anything happens down there, it's kind of freaky haha. I used to always think that the best solution is to chiong up. SIAO haha that's the worst solution my lungs might go mad and the only way to save a decompression emergency is SOS HOSPITAL LIAO...
#4 I love 'finning', the term they use when we use our fins! Flippers hehe so cute like a duck
#5 Embarrassing things I do with my buddy, like the fact that since we are underwater... water pressure makes things much lighter. So erm we were carrying our 12 kg air tanks but we thought we weren't. Had a good laugh.
#6 I call my buddy BUDDY all the time and vice versa but people are probably judging us thinking that we are taking this buddy issue too seriously LOL. We're into this buddy-calling thing since I was 18 in Cambodia though hahaha
#7 Back to learning some physics and stuff about air pressure, depth, density, compression etc. Been a long while man. Esp using the cool chiem looking graph chart to measure time v.s. pressure down there.
#8 Thank you lungs for serving me well xiexieni zhen de xiexieni

LOOKING TO THE MAX FORWARD TO THIS COMING WEEKEND.

I'm also very glad and thankful I get these opportunities in life to try new things and explore new challenges as I grow up... Reaching the peak of Rinjani was wts enough. Being responsible for 19 people in Cambodia was a mega wts too. And now this is another new wts for the year.

Sometimes, it doesn't take much to define contentment :)
好吧，人生，whatever it is, 我来了。