Restart and Refresh

Words on 初一
HAPPY NEW YEAR :-)

Yesterday I slept at 3am. Record breaking for 2017. Bagus.
Went to find my grandmama at 1am, miss you ah ma! I hope you can enter my dreams.

Words on 初二
LOL I got lazy to type, hence the short 初一 words. Let's do a recap of yesterday-
Yesterday ended late and bro and I grabbed home with bro, driver was a really friendly malay family man. People like him give me lots of hope for a nice picture perfect family. I think that takes 10% luck (such that your child's personality matches yours well) and 90% effort to raise them well/give them a wholesome family experience and shower them with so much love but not overboard because spoilt kids are a no. In this case, I have 0% of the above with my father, probably 30% with my mother because she spends lots of $ for tuition and stuff like swimming classes when we were young. Sometimes I daydream about the future and it would be so sweet to have a family of my own. My cousin in law who's 25 just gave me angbaos for the first time since they just got married not long ago and she was so cute and excited about it. She says it's so strange to give me since we are of the same age haha. I will love to experience that when I grow up as well, giving angbaos to kids and watching their reactions which is much cute. But then I don't have much time to grow up la LOL 23 now eh time is tight but luck is low so aiya sui bian.

My mum is on the phone and I have my door closed but I can hear the whole convo loud and clear that's the volume of the voice and she repeated the same sentence 6+ times. Haha small things like these that make my bro and I feel mildly annoyed. Yesterday night was a good reminder how I shouldn't spill too much to her again. I feel that my feelings towards my father and her are always on a pendulum, some days I want to be a good daughter, some days I regret trying to be one. That's why I consider myself to be a rather bad daughter all in all. When the year started I thought I'll be a good daughter and get myself closer to her/ share more about my life but I regret it so badly yesterday. My bro is def on the no-sharing-policy haha that's for sure, he's a man of his words haha. I shared a bit too much with my mum and she ended up loud-speaker-ing it to everyone. Bro gave me the I-pity-you look and also the I-ALWAYS-told-you-not-to look and I wished I could be firm like him. Anyway what's done is done so yep I'll learn.

It's a bit sad to find ourselves in such a scenario but life is not a bed of roses. Maybe it's a give and take? If I have kickass awesome friends I don't have kickass awesome family. Bro's temper was stubborn like mad yesterday aiyo it kind of spoiled my early afternoon mood but I complained to my friends and healed :D

As usual I am a piece of useless lazy shit guess what I didn't do my spring cleaning! Because SG is spring all year round, spring can come another day :-) #smart I'm also really happy at the thought that today is still Sunday. I'm quite far away from work! My paternal cousin still think I'm in my last year of uni, good/ young is good. And it's really hard to explain about my job to people. Right brain education is usually a ??? but if I say early childhood edu they'll think it's kindergarten. Sui bian bah haha same same but different.

Time check- 12.30pm and I'm bored. Hopefully today's gng to be alright :-)

It has been raining non-stop since yesterday omg epic it feels like Japan. Japan was so rainy that time when we went. Wouldn't want to repeat Japan experience again though haha it's more stressful than almost anything.

Yesterday I earned my $50 from waitressing from 5-10. Hello F&B again it has been a while. The last time I did F&B was way back when I was 18. Nah not the kind of industry I like, thankful for kind customers but it's too routine a task it can get quite boring. Got my whole black flats soaked because the kitchen was wet but on a brighter side I'm so heng I didn't wear the white shoes instead. Anyway my flats were dying with a big hole and my friend at work keep on asking me to buy. "Tolong la pls" she says haha. So the flats died yesterday and my mum opened the big main garbage door for me to throw it away and right after I threw it down I went "AH!!!!" Stupid things I do- I threw my socks tgt with the flats. But never mind, not too big a deal haha.

It's 4 more days to Chinese New Year and I have a sad update:

CNY Eve dinner doesn't include any crabs.

No pepper crab
No chill crab
No mantou
Nothing.

I am sad.

Hello.

I am currently at Dr Sia's waiting for my turn since a while ago hmmmm it's a long wait so here I am. Life has been pretty neutral for now which is not bad and yet not best at the same time, so it's jiu hai hao. I am once again down with the flu and throat and phlegm combi it's damn epic how MANY times I fall sick ever since I started working omg I don't even get to fall sick when I was schooling.

To more happy stuff:
Yest I got my big hug from Alphonsus! Hehehe. He gave me a Christmas special and now a CNY special! Usually this baby is just too shy a baby hahaha so cute la I love his smiley happy face. He will be stoney then it will light up with a big bright SMILE! Wahahaha cutie.

Finally reunited with my fav trio at our old location! I miss us and I miss those nights terribly. James is as usual rich as crazy and so we got a drive in his BEAUTIFUL white audi. Omg I didn't rlly have a fav car brand but I like how cool audi looks. It is white and it has brown coloured leather seats. Chio ah! Only thing is the back seats are a bit narrow at the legs area so it gets hard to get off and in. I guess its not a family type of car, its a i am cool car. We went to eat buffet at JEM and to Starbucks and James gave up his gymming because he decided we > gym. 有没有感动?! so rare he tian mi mi but ya used up his kind quota for the year ahahaha.

Met Yuhua after that haha old good friends are friends to keep forever~ Blessed. Gave him a belated birthday cake and we don't even bother to do any sort of surprise. Signs of old age. Ben gave me a lift after that and since it's his bday soon in Feb and I won't be seeing him because of exchange I gave him the usual Starbucks cake I always gave to him. Hahaha throwback to last year when they weren't even officially tgt yet I rmb how I bought him a cake at Starbucks because he was hiding from the ROC guys because... Birthdays are tear underwear days. Am glad we are at this stage of life now, past the childish days, am glad I am friends with my friend's other half, will rlly like to be friends with all of my friend's other halves too. That being said, my single friends rlly deserve to find an awesome other halves. Sometimes I wonder what's wrong, I think my friends are perfect they should be basking in love and happiness asap. Maybe timing? Timing isn't right for now? We'll see.

Time check: 11.07 aiyo it has been so long and I still have one guy before me. SIAN. My bro's breakfast is becoming lunch already hahaha. CNY is coming I am happy because it means rest and slack time. A bit scared of awkward times esp with paternal side we are sooo foreign haha but nvm. Whatever it is I have someone called big brother wahaha shield me from all these. I am VERY looking forward to CRABS PLS. I pray hard there is a crav for cny eve din. I love them and they come so rarely because gui si ren. I am also looking forward to yusheng! I like the crackers with the veggies. Not the raw fish though. Love letters are also my fav. Only type of love letters I get are those I eat. Sad anot?! LOL

Yay done with the doctor finally! That means I am saying bye too!

Bye!

快乐其实很简单。

Make the best of everything you have,
even if you don't have much.

First upsetting day of 2017.

Today's weather forecast in my skies- gloomy dark clouds 

because I'm sad over some things that can't be changed, sad over some things that changed. Rather than trying to change things because things can't work that way, I guess the best I can do for myself is to make sure I don't consciously be reminded of it. I need to find new motivations/ new focus/ new distractions. Because it's a trick to play with your mind- if the dirt is huge, get a larger dustpan. 

Make the dirt smaller. 

2016.

Challenging trying to crack my brains and recall what's up this 2016 hahaha but I remember some things...

THE UPS

1. Diving
2. Travelling to Taiwan/ BKK/ Cambodia/ Batam/ JB. Did my first solo travel and yep gna be my last. 
3. Graduation
4. First full-time job. May not be easy but definitely enjoyable.

THE DOWNS

1. A house, not a home 

As I am typing this, the parents are arguing in the kitchen. 

The down is going to be there forever so I'll just have to neutralise it away with more UPS :D 

THE NEW THINGS

1. Dyeing the hair dark purple- which faded in a few weeks I'm back to brown
2. New career meant new friends, am lucky to find people I can trust in my workplace
3. Being vain. I "learnt" how to put on makeup this year?! Thanks to my expert girlfriends, I now have a Laneige BB cushion and a lipgloss... that I still don't really use but I do use the Laneige thing! And I thread my eyebrows! 

THE WHAT-I-AM-GRATEFUL FOR

1. Friends
2. Brother
3. Mum

for showering me with so much endless love and support and for always trusting and believing in me. At times in life I feel empty and lonely but you guys are always here. 

Moving on to 2017, please be kind :-)