Restart and Refresh

Words on 初一
HAPPY NEW YEAR :-)

Yesterday I slept at 3am. Record breaking for 2017. Bagus.
Went to find my grandmama at 1am, miss you ah ma! I hope you can enter my dreams.

Words on 初二
LOL I got lazy to type, hence the short 初一 words. Let's do a recap of yesterday-
Yesterday ended late and bro and I grabbed home with bro, driver was a really friendly malay family man. People like him give me lots of hope for a nice picture perfect family. I think that takes 10% luck (such that your child's personality matches yours well) and 90% effort to raise them well/give them a wholesome family experience and shower them with so much love but not overboard because spoilt kids are a no. In this case, I have 0% of the above with my father, probably 30% with my mother because she spends lots of $ for tuition and stuff like swimming classes when we were young. Sometimes I daydream about the future and it would be so sweet to have a family of my own. My cousin in law who's 25 just gave me angbaos for the first time since they just got married not long ago and she was so cute and excited about it. She says it's so strange to give me since we are of the same age haha. I will love to experience that when I grow up as well, giving angbaos to kids and watching their reactions which is much cute. But then I don't have much time to grow up la LOL 23 now eh time is tight but luck is low so aiya sui bian.

My mum is on the phone and I have my door closed but I can hear the whole convo loud and clear that's the volume of the voice and she repeated the same sentence 6+ times. Haha small things like these that make my bro and I feel mildly annoyed. Yesterday night was a good reminder how I shouldn't spill too much to her again. I feel that my feelings towards my father and her are always on a pendulum, some days I want to be a good daughter, some days I regret trying to be one. That's why I consider myself to be a rather bad daughter all in all. When the year started I thought I'll be a good daughter and get myself closer to her/ share more about my life but I regret it so badly yesterday. My bro is def on the no-sharing-policy haha that's for sure, he's a man of his words haha. I shared a bit too much with my mum and she ended up loud-speaker-ing it to everyone. Bro gave me the I-pity-you look and also the I-ALWAYS-told-you-not-to look and I wished I could be firm like him. Anyway what's done is done so yep I'll learn.

It's a bit sad to find ourselves in such a scenario but life is not a bed of roses. Maybe it's a give and take? If I have kickass awesome friends I don't have kickass awesome family. Bro's temper was stubborn like mad yesterday aiyo it kind of spoiled my early afternoon mood but I complained to my friends and healed :D

As usual I am a piece of useless lazy shit guess what I didn't do my spring cleaning! Because SG is spring all year round, spring can come another day :-) #smart I'm also really happy at the thought that today is still Sunday. I'm quite far away from work! My paternal cousin still think I'm in my last year of uni, good/ young is good. And it's really hard to explain about my job to people. Right brain education is usually a ??? but if I say early childhood edu they'll think it's kindergarten. Sui bian bah haha same same but different.

Time check- 12.30pm and I'm bored. Hopefully today's gng to be alright :-)