Slept for only about 5+ hours last night but up at 6am once again.
Currently on an island.
Lit up this yankee candle xin got me for my birthday
It's called "island spa"

Not on the island anymore.
Dozed off for an hour after breakfast with mum

REALITY BEGINS TOMORROW.
Oh man.

Conversations with her husband.

Him: There's a dumpling in the fridge. You want eat?
Me: Been there a few days. Why you don't want? You eat la.
Him: I scared spoil.
Me: Oh. You think it's spoilt so you ask me to eat.

Silence.

Proves my point in prev post.

Cute moments in life are worth to note.

like when I hear my mother chanting to herself during the Sheng Siong show. When the participant need choose a box to win, it's either box Sheng or Siong or Chao or Shi. Yesterday she was going "Siong Siong Siong!" to herself in the living room and that made me laugh to myself in my room. 

There's this quote that says how we are too busy growing up, we forget that they are growing old. Ok or rather, in my case, I forget that she is growing old. Because I can't come to any conclusion about the presence/ or any % of love I have for her husband HAHA. 

This week feels like a dream and this dream is going to end today. Sometimes it doesn't hit me that I am seriously classified as a working adult. And I keep on telling and stressing to my friends, how important is that shining golden period BEFORE you begin work. It's the only time in your life you are a FREE BIRD, not bounded by any amount of leave/ or school/ or whatever. 

BBA is so different now. 

2017 = 3 years direct honours, compulsory global experience and compulsory internship. All these new conditions also means that people like me is out of the system LOL. People who waste slots in the school and reduce chances for other better people to enter. I am sorry. Sometimes I look back and think hmm maybe I should have gone for an internship. Because I can then really really 100% confirm-chop-stamp conclude that it isn't for me. Sometimes I look back and think hmm maybe I should have gone for SEP. But not much for this point because I know how my brain works haha. I am already who I am at this ripe old age. Regardless of how my mum says "go la! money I pay, can earn back" it's not going to change my auntie-mentality. Spending that $10-15k on myself in one go during SEP is sth I am certain, will never ever happen in this life. If I really do, I must be possessed hahahahahaha. 

Ok bye time to do some thesis I am so hardworking :')

NEED. TO. RANT.

I had enough with strange things happening in the world. WTF IS WRONG.

Just read an article from Straits Times about one man who killed 19 residents in a disability centre in Japan: Satoshi Uematsu claimed he was on a self-styled mission to rid the world of people with mental illness when he allegedly carried out the attack at the Tsukui Yamayuri-en (Tsukui Lily Garden) care centre, south of Tokyo, on July 26, 2016.

And then just yesterday night I read all sorts of freak accidents in our own country. I don't care if it's happening here or Japan or Asia or anywhere else. 

What's wrong guys. 
Why do you do this. 
You're alive you're breathing and living and why do you hurt others and hurt yourself in the process 

OMG I need to go shower and drain away all these sadness and darkness and what not. 

Shit. 

Hello.

3.35am now. On the bed. In the dark. Woke up at 3 randomly and suddenly from the pain, but feeling both relieved and enlightened haha. Because I truly felt the essence of 习惯就好.

Every time I swallow it feels like I am 吞ing 剑 😂 Yesterday was pretty epic. I KNEW it was wisdom tooth's problem but I sure didn't know I would be plucking it out ON THE SPOT LOL expectations v.s reality. I thought dentist will diagnose and go like, okay let's schedule appointment for surgery another day etc etc but NO

Okay let's get it out.

SHIT. HAHAHAHA. Then after it was out I couldn't feel a thing on my left, it just got big and swollen and sian it hurt when injection of anaesthesia took place.

When I came home bro told me it is going to hurt like **** (LOL) and the pain was worst than his fracture. I told him okay I am not going to cry!!! That was when the anaesthesia was still there. Anw, thank you koko for the mental prep haha I honestly appreciate it.

Bloody shit (literally bloody also haha) one hour later, TEARS FLOW DOWN MY EYES like I couldn't help it machiam acting melodrama all by myself we laughed at me omg the last time I had this uncontrollable tears thing was when ah ma left I can't believe it can be physically pain until like that HAHAHA ok but ah ma's version I couldn't stop. This, I could, after a while. But there was this certain moment OH MY GOD it was unbearable I went to my bro's room and wailed like a baby LOL "KORKOR VERY PAIN" and cry and cry and then stopped. Felt better after all that epic drama HAHAHA.

Then I got used to it. I was trying so hard to get use to the pain ASAP and tadah, rlly works. #lifelesson

3.50am now. Time to go back to sleep. What an experience!

23.

Old fart is me.

When I was younger, birthdays meant (FREE hohoho) swensens ice cream and presents and balloons. When I am old as heck now... I come to give zero care about presents hahaha. Birthdays mean reunion with friends I love, esp when everybody is busy with our different stages of life now.

Thankful that everyone is healthy and well, though none of us are actually at the contented-happy stage of life now but I believe we'll get there... right? hahahha

Received much love on 18th Feb, xiexienimen.

<3

国宝。

Yesterday I was chilling at Pasir Ris Library before tuition and an elderly lady came down to sit beside me. She had a book about the history of peranakans and she asked me how to read the author's name. And started to flip the book and showed me the pictures of a lady from ancient time wearing a nice traditional dress. It was a very cute moment it made me miss my grandma. Has been a LONG time since I last interacted with old people. My hokkien is slowly going to degenerate and die haha, given my wonderful memory skills.

Somedays I think about life and try hard to find volunteering opportunties that can make life more exciting. But still no good news from Proj Hand in Hand yet. But somedays I am just so tired and can laze in bed for a long while. Somedays I get contented with life but somedays I don't. Humans ah. Hard to please.

Caught SPLIT yesterday and it was good.

It's scary to be scared of our own people.
As much as Kevin was supposedly the 'bad guy'/the 'beast' as what they called it in the movie, I appreciate how the writer showed us how human he can be. His dissociative identity disorder was mainly caused by his trauma as a victim of abuse. Which is really sad. And the saddest scene that was extremely T.T was the part when he switched back to his own truest personality and realised he killed Dr Fletcher. And he quickly told the girl where the gun was and asked her to kill him, with a please at the end. OMG that scene ah. Is srsly T.T to the max. Fighting his own battles with himself, how painful is that :'( I like how the movie subtly raised awareness about this mental illness though. Ya la we are damn scared that he'll kill everybody, that's the main story- but after it all I kind of felt ashamed of myself for feeling so leh. To be scared of our own people. I felt so disrespectful and rude and everything. Kevin has his own battles to fight but everyone's fighting against him.

感触良多。

Anyway it was a good day because TIONG BAHRU BAKERY BREAKFAST :p
Yum. Finally got my curly wirly angmoh pastry I L O V E. Finally passed to LX the tok kong kopi powder from Cambodia too. Ketchup with my dear friend, same old, same constant.

Consecutive days of yum. Previous day was Korean Fried Chicken at Tjong Katong w the bro and mum which made me REALLY TOO FULL after that. I had two of my favourites haha omelette and chicken and bro knew I wanted the omelette but didn't wna order because HELLO $18. Ridiculous 18. But he is a sweat bear and bought <3 I treat it as my bday dinner since it was my chinese birthday anyway.

Growing up... birthdays really mean less and less. There used to be some excitement with birthdays. We do surprises and we used to do our usual huge helium balloons (always from parkway parade) hahaha back in sec school and the birthday girl/boy needs to carry that mega balloon around school the whole day so the whole freaking world knows hahaha. And recess time meant birthday cake and the usual awkward birthday song when you awkwardly don't know what to do when people sing. But everyone still does it and shower you with a lot of love the whole day until you reached the quota for attention your whole year. Cute la us. Now we are still cute but we are all old and gone is the energy to do all of these and now the brain thinks that $$ on balloon is not that wise haha.

F!!!! I just read an article about a mother hiding decomposing remains of her six babies in lockers. I cannot. I need to say that this is really W T F.

When can we fix the world? (Ok who am I to say this though) But still. 2017 please be better la, pls.