Saturday, 23 September 2017

Thoughts. 

My mum's generation like to think of children as their assets, something they own. Something to boss around since hi I gave birth to you I took care of you. Unfortunately my bro didn't go like what they wanted? He's extremely opinionated and perfectly fine with voicing out his opinions/ thoughts/ whatever he wants to say. I am his polar opposite though. Today my uncle was on the phone with mum, asking mum to help write a red packet to my cousin for her wedding. I heard her telling him that she can get me to do it. 

Why? It's like a chore for them, writing messages and greetings and all, which I don't understand at all. All they care about is the cash inside that red packet, what about the wishes you have for the newly wed? 

And because I'm not my bro I keep all these inside my head of mine I get frustrated and sad all inside.  I am glad I'm not from that generation. I'm glad I can say honest things to my bro in his face, about him and with him too. Not like how I see my aunties and uncles function as siblings. All the talking-behind-the-back and all. Thank god. 

Friday, 15 September 2017

Wowowow! I experienced true PMS for the first time in my life yesterday. It was such an empty/ blue/ sad feeling I was just sad all over my cells. I did random sighs to myself and couldn't get it off my chest...

Until I came home (more specifically- TOILET lol) and realised aha.

Friday, 8 September 2017

So we are going to do art jamming next week. I decided I should draw something for the mum. Trying to google for inspiration- and it brings back memories of Paint A Home. Some kind of sadness, wondering how are the elderly doing. One day I should trace back all the houses we painted and visit them, think just a biscuit tin and milo packets will make them happy enough? Being grandparent-less makes me feel like I've lost touch with the senior world.

Death anniversary of ah ma this coming Saturday.

I can still picture you, in my head, sitting on the sofa in the living room watching your taiwan drama, sleeping in the room beside me and telling me wan an. Strange how epic lousy my memory is, but things like these from childhood are things I'll never forget.

No idea what's afterlife about, but I do hope we'll meet there one day. (Does this sound suicidal - I'm not ok haha)

Tuesday, 5 September 2017

Keeping afloat

When you don't let your head wander off too far away, when you live in the moment- hey maybe a smile can break across your face :)